Feeling Poetic, Tyler Perry, And A Lot On My Mind

This is going to be one long and maybe rant like post. Maybe. I am just feeling a bunch of emotions right now and I need some type of release. Then I thought to myself that hey, I have this blog that I created and I could use that. Maybe someone will read and have some advice. Fist there has been this poem brewing inside of me and it needs to be released before I explode. The thing is I have not yet written it. So I am about to make it up right now. So here it is.

Untitled…The Way I am feeling Now.

I am confused
Maybe because so much is right it has to be wrong
I am used to chaos around and this calm is scaring the hell out of me
I pray that this is not the calm before the storm
But the winds are blowing hard
The clouds are getting darker and I can’t see that damn silver lining that all those damn perpetual optimist keep telling me about

I am scared
Maybe because I am in love with two people
I don’t know what to do
One is completely off limits and my best friend
I know he will kill my heart take it and run away
He already has but my crazy mind is trying to rationalize my feelings for love unattainable because that is the best kind when you trap it and hold it down
The next is easy yet unsure Wanting the world that I am to eager to give him but does notknow what the hell to do with it

I am lost
And I am tired of looking for myself
Where the hell did I go
In between work school work again no play all day monotony where have I drifted off to
Schedule so mundane I am going insane and I hate it
But this is what I must do to get that Degree to get that seven figure salary because six just won’t do
I want it all I can see it
I can taste it
I can almost touch it
But what will I do when I get it
Leave it find something else to obsess about

I am tired
Wanting to end it all
Not in a way that will leave me lifeless because suicide is not poetic
But I just want to go home
Back to Mama’s house crawl in her bed and let her rub my head until all the bad thoughts go away
My safe haven
My way out
My sad sorry retreat
What shall I do

I am confused, lost in love and tired of what it is doing to me

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO that was a lot to write down. I feel purged and even more confused than before. And what’s worse is a mosquito bit me on my ass through my denim jeans and now my ass itches. Great.

Okay on to the next.

I hope all of you went to support Tyler Perry.
That movie was off the damn chain. I Love Love Loved it. It was by far his best work. I am going to go and see it again this weekend. It was just that damn good. I thought all the actors did great and Jill Scott was of course the icing on that triple chocolate on the cast. And ladies I just have to say the men looked so damn good. Tyler Perry is sooo fine to me. I know I am not the only one that thinks so. And since I have seen the movie I have been listening to Marvin Gaye’s I Want You everyday. If you go see it you will know why. My girl Janet Jackson was awesome. Her performance was amazing. She really drove home the pain of her character. I give this movie the seal of approval. I just have to find the soundtrack now. I bet it is off the chain.

Music of the Month

Of course you all probably know who the winner is.

Ms Jill Scott

Her new album The Real Thing is wonderful. As most people already know she is going through a painful divorce with Lyzel in E-Flat. I thought that marriage would last forever, but you never know what is going on in the private lives of the celebrities that you see on the television. The thing is that Jill writes from her life. The Real Thing is a montage of music describing the breakdown and build up of a person who is going through losing what they thought was forever. Her openness allows you to feel each emotion. Sorrow, pain and suffering then she takes you from that to happy, cocky and horny in the next beat. She is the epitome of an open book. She let it all hang out and you have to respect someone with that type of courage. I listen to her CD everyday. I have to make myself turn it off so I don’t get tired of listening to it. But I doubt if I will. This one will be in heavy rotation for a very long time.

This is a Poetry Blog...Right?

I suppose that since I started this blog to inform people about the different poetry events going on around my area and in different venues around the US I would update you all on what's going on in my life with Poetry. It has been a lot so be prepared to read and read and maybe read some more.

The first thing is that I have been writing more and more everyday. I think I am writing more now than ever before. It is fun seeing all of the things that i am coming up with. I have written love poems, hate poems and why aren't you with me because that Bitch you are with now ain't shit poems. Poems about poems and poems about not wanting to write poems. It has been a completely liberating experience. Everything that I had been doing for the longest time has had to deal with politics and racism. I think ever since the Don Imus incident I have been on a rampage. I guess I had a lot to get off of my chest. But the great thing is that I am getting some wonderful poetry out of it. At least I think so.

The second major poetry thing that has happened to me is that I hosted my very first Poetry Reading on Saturday, September 22, 2007 at the Mission House. Montgomery's premiere jazz and blues lounge. I was sooo excited. At first I was asked to come out and perform because I had done a couple shows there and some people suggested me. Can you believe it? There is a buzz about me. I was geeked. So I was all set to just perform, because that is always good enough for me but then about a week before the show I was asked to host. Of course I said "Hell Yeah". I was so excited. I was to be the host of the Mission House's First Groove vs. Soul night. Groove outside with a DJ that would play music from the 70'sk, 80's and 90's and get some Soul in you system with live poetry and art in motion on the inside. Ya'll know some mess had to go on that night right? When I got there I talked to one of the Managers and she informed me that since it was a bit rainy outside they would move the DJ inside and move us poets to a smaller room. I was like "how are we supposed to do poetry and have a DJ in the same house?" And she was all it would work out and everything would be alright, but ya'll know that everything was not alright. The music was entirely too loud and my poets were mad as hell. At the end of the night I was able to pull it together and I must say that it was quite successful. Even though they played me when it came to the DJ. The manager said that he wanted to do it again and I replied "not with a damn DJ in the next room." So we will see what will happen if there is a next time.

Poet of the Month

It has been a long time since I gave out this honor. So I just wanted to share a poet with you all that I think is truly awesome. The Poet is young, handsome and most of all talented. Dahlak Brathwaite is this month's Poet of the Month. Check him out at his website or google the brother.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=5693714



Peace
IAMNOTANIGGA (And I have proof)

Republicans, Republicans, where for art thou Republicans???

The Four leading Republican Candidates for the Presidency of the United States have declined to show up to a Forum Hosted by Tavis Smiley (I love me some Tavis) on Sept 27. All of whom have cited "schedule conflicts" as the reason for their no show. This is even worrying members of the "Grand Old Party" like former Congressman Jack Kemp, who stated that "we sound like we don't want black people to vote for us". Now it's a fact that most Black people are Democrats by default but could the GOP be facing a "Blacklash" from those registered Black and Latino voters that are Republicans. And from those that vote not for for the party but for the person. It is ridiculous for the GOP candidates to think that they can win the election in 2008 without any minority votes. This country is full of young people, young Black people and young Latino people that want to be involved, are involved and can't wait until 2008 so they can vote and they are not voting for someone that they do not know and someone who does not know them. I want to know everything about my future President and I want them to know why I voted for them. I want what matters to me to matter to them and the GOP is showing that what matters to Minorities does not matter to them at all.

Check out more on this @ http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/19/politics/washingtonpost/main3273657.shtml

Peace
IAMNOTANIGGA

Wings, Mozzarella Sticks, and Bigotry...To Go Please

For those who have been looking for me...sorry I have been working a second job and going to school. This time of year is very busy for me. But no worries, God is working it out and I know it will all be worth it in the end when I am the Senator of somebody’s state. But let me get to the point. Like I said I started working for Applebee’s in the evenings and on the weekend. The tips are good because I am naturally friendly. But I don't know how much I can take of the inside racism going on all up and through there. Let me tell ya'll what happened.

I was working late Monday, counting the minutes before I could leave and hoping that I did not get another table before I left. Well, while I was in the kitchen rolling silverware one of the cooks (white boy 1) and the boy who washes the dishes (white boy2) were having quite the interesting conversation.....

WB1: Guess what I am a member of!!!
WB2: What???
WB1: The Sons of the Confederacy!
WB2: Really...My grandfather is a Klansman. I can tell you where some meetings are....!

Okay let me give you some more info. After they saw that a Negro was standing right there seething and staring them right in the face they disbanded that conversation quick fast and in a hurry. But don't worry it gets better. The two dumb suckas listen to more rap music than I do. They do all the things that ignorant people feel is ethnic. They use the popular lingo. They do the manly "ghetto" handshake and if you could see how they wear their clothing you would swear they were extras on a G-Unit or Bad Boy video. I don't get it...they hate us so much that they do all they can to act like us. But it gets oh so better.

By the end of the night I was getting past what they had said and I was walking out of the kitchen when WB1 and WB2 were talking to each other. I suppose one said something that was funny because they started to laugh and giving each other the "ghetto" handshake. Well I'm naturally a comedienne so I started to mock them and they had the audacity to speak to me, and this is what was said...

WB1: Girl you don't even know what we talkin' bout.
WB2: Yeah Girl
WB1: Yeah we on anotha level.
WB2: Yeah...We WHITE so we on anotha level.
Me: (Sly smirk and shocking look plastered on face) You know what you are so right.

I just left the kitchen. I was so dumbfounded I did not know what to do or say. Now I had been secretly dissed and discriminated against but I had never experienced anything quite like this. I was not so much angry as I was amazed that he felt it was okay to say something like that to me. Obviously I was not the only one that was shocked. The white girl working in the kitchen was more upset than I was. (Or at least that’s how she acted.) I just had to get this out because I have to go to work tonight and I am more upset about this than I thought I would be. I know I live right in the Heart of Dixie but give me a break. We have to be more civilized than monkeys.


PEACE
IAMNOTANIGGA (never was never will be)

Bad Reporter

Here is something to tickle your funny bone.

Please Brotha...Don't Sue Me!!!

Okay in recent news there has been a surge of ridiculous lawsuits spawned by disgruntled Black men. Now as a future law student all of this quite amuses me but I have to wonder, what happened to laws protecting individuals and companies from frivolous litigation? In one case a JUDGE is suing a dry cleaners for an obscene amount of money for missing pants. I think the sum total reaches over 50 Million dollars. Is he crazy??? There is no way his pants or his time is worth that much money. And when it was decided in court that he had no case he decided to appeal the decision. Come on Brotha....Move on. Its over. I am sure he didn't think that he was going to win. Really. And the funny thing is that the owners of the Dry Cleaners offered a settlement that was well above the price of any pair of pants in the world. No matter what brand. I just don't understand this. This man is a Judge and he is making a mockery out of our legal system. And he is wasting tax payer money by pursuing ridiculous vindication. This man needs to move on.

Another more humorous pending lawsuit is one of a Texas man suing 1800Flowers for sending his wife a receipt for gifts sent to his mistress. Now that is sweet Karma. But while listening to this mans argument he actually has a 10% chance of winning. If people think about the facts and not the fact that he was cheating there is a chance that 1800Flowers may be found liable. Let me run down what I have heard from various news sources...

1. This man specifically asked for nothing to be sent to his home. No receipt, no coupons, no correspondence of any kind. And they did anyway.

2. When the wife received the thank you card (which I am sure is computer generated and his name was probably automatically added to this list) she then called 1800Flowers to find out what he had bought.

3. Now this is where the problem comes in. 1800Flowers has a database of customer's information. If the customer is male or female. If they are a singular customer or representing a company and all that jazz. The problem is they sent this person who did not purchase these gifts an itemized receipt and listed to whom they were sent. Now 1800Flowers has a privacy policy and in this case the person who sent out this receipt broke it.

That is the long and short of it. Now do I think he got what he deserved...Let me think about it...Hell Yeah. But could 1800Flowers end up paying for their little mistake, possibly. We just have to see what happens. If the the man's attorney advises him correctly she will tell him to take the settlement that 1800Flowers will most likely offer.

PEACE

THE BAD!!!

A couple weeks ago I posted one part in a three part series called...HIP HOP The Good The Bad The Ugly. This is the second part and before you all leave comments in asking me why it took so long here's the answer. Cause I'm busy dammit. So here it is better late than never....THE BAD!!

Before Drugs, Hoes, Bitches and money were the picture of Hip Hop's present, turning any and everything that it touched UGLY. We were blessed to have some Hip Hop rappers that were so BAD they were good. If Hip Hop is nothing else it is and will always be a way for inner city youth, hood rats and ghetto babies to cry out and express their disdain, discomfort and disbelief concerning their lives and the environment that they inhabit. Although back in the day what was being said was probably the equivalent to what is being said now, if you think about the times and how Hip Hoppers broke the lines of the everyday norm. But something about it was so pure that you couldn't help but listen to it, buy it, sing along with it and love it. I remember the first time I heard fight the power (for real). I was very young and all I heard was there was this group that was saying bad stuff and talking negatively about white people and "the man". I didn't know what was going on. I was the product of a home that only played Al Green and Shirley Murdock. But once I got my hands on some of it I found that I would forever be changed. I loved it. I craved it and I did what I had to do to get it.

Back in those days F the Police was about as bad as it got. Hip Hop Beef was harmless and nobody got shot. Oh some egos were shattered and lives reps were left in the Hip Hop's lost and found but it was still so pure and natural. The envelope was pushed but it sounded so good. It was uplifting and powerful and there was a message besides "chains and money and girls with big butts." One of my favorite songs was I like Big Butts. Sir Mix A Lot got his point across without saying the words Bitch or Hoe one hundred times. I never turned off the radio feeling confused or bad about myself. I was proud to be in my skin and proud of the music we made. Now I am ashamed and dismayed. I wonder will we ever be able to go back to the pure, poetic, beautiful side of Hip Hop?